What do people need coaching for?
People who sign up for a session with me share this: they want to discover something new in themselves, in their lives, they would like to have a different type of a conversation, they want to be heard and understood, they want to achieve something.
Or they want to do some tests which they’ve heard about or try some coaching or mindset tools eg. the wheel of life, the wheel of values.They want to take advantage of this moment when they are ready to work with themselves. The goal may not be clear at this particular moment, but they know that they want something new in life.
But still the same question pops in: what do they need it for? to be better leaders, specialists, directors, managers, partners and parents? a bit yes, but mainly they have a need to think better of themselves, of a world, of others, feel good in their own skin. They are looking for this feeling that in the afternoon or at the end of the day they don’t get frustrated and they don’t go over situations that happened at work over and over again. They want to go to work in a good mood, they want to have a feeling of accomplishment. And they don’t want to be pissed off by their thoughts about going to this specific job, or that they are condemned to perform these specific duties.
They want to have more patience with their loved ones and co-workers, and at the same time they do not want to burn themselves out. They are looking for something that will allow them to enjoy their days and life. They want to discover a new path or make sure they are on the right one.
1️⃣ Overview, present and future
Personally, I think it would be beneficial for each of us to visit a coach or therapist from time to time. I think that either of these methods can be beneficial if it brings value to a person. For our own well-being it is worth understanding what are the mechanisms and patterns that govern us and dictate our choices. On that basis we can decide whether they suit us or not. And if it turns out that there are mechanisms that do not serve us, we have an opportunity to decide how we can work on challenging them and we can do it in a professional way together with a coach or therapist.
Many businessmen, businesswomen, and celebrities openly talk about the fact that they use coaching (e.g. Oprah Winfrey, Tony Robbins, Bill Clinton, Bill Gates*) and about the positive impact of this cooperation with coach on their lives (*). Ordinary people also work with coaches, but they are not interviewed by journalists so commonly 🙂.
When I’m meeting with a client at the first session, I try to sense their readiness to work on discovering themselves. And I see that there are different levels of this readiness and people have different expectations. People who book a session with me usually know quite well what coaching is, or have some assumptions about what might happen during these meetings.
I also understand the concerns some people have. People who on the one hand would like to book a meeting with a coach, but on the other hand, they don’t really see such need.
When we start talking, various arguments come up, for example: “I don’t need it”, “why do I need it”, “I’m doing great”, “maybe in the future”. Then it often turns out that something that is underlying their beliefs is actually the fear of looking inside themselves. It happens that people do not want to dig up the history of their lives, they are afraid of returning to difficult memories. They also have a belief, usually coming from some significant others in their lives, that suggest not to think too much about themselves or not to get too emotional (I also have my favorite so-called ‘imprints’ from my youth, but I’ll write about that another time).
In coaching, as a rule, we do not deal with the past, it is more the domain of psychotherapy. In coaching, we focus on the present and the future. However, a person is a whole, and a huge part of coaching is a conversation, questions, reflections. And some of them may take a person back to situations from their past. It may happen during the session. But we work with them in such a way that these situations become learning points and we can take from them as much as possible to make the future satisfying and useful.
Coaching is about building new supportive beliefs, new solutions to recurring problems. Also about looking at goals, needs and values. About checking what is consistent with us and what has been imposed on us and how we want to continue from now on having these discoveries. The client is supposed to leave the session more aware of himself, equipped with new skills, strengthened and prepared for the challenges that arise.
2️⃣ The luxury of coaching
I have a dream for coaching to be a luxury that everyone can afford. We live such a long life that it is worth doing a regular review of our mindset for our own (and others’) well-being. Let’s take a look at our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, patterns, aspirations, goals, desires from time to time. And let’s make them serve us, not the other way round.
3️⃣ Creativity
Creativity is something that coaching constantly impresses me with. I do not consider myself a very creative person, but the results which I’m finishing my sessions with are sometimes super creative. And I am most happy when my clients create unconventional solutions to their problems during and between sessions.
4️⃣ Click
Coaching itself is an engaging experience that requires you to work hard at and between sessions. There is a lot of laughter, a lot of thinking, considering and reviewing options, there are often tears.. These are the tears that are a symptom of some discovery, an ‘AHA’ moment, relief, release from some belief, realization of something.
Just when I see the signs of hard work with the naked eye, I can also see that the effects achieved are the most significant … and the clients already know why they came to the meeting, they know what has changed, they feel that something clicked.
Summary
I write about all of this because there are times when coaching is quite a simple process of planning steps in order to achieve a goal. But there are times when it is not only about that.
For example: if something is regularly blocking us in completing actions that we expect ourselves to be able to complete immediately, but yet, we are not even starting or finishing them (and we tend to say that we are lazy or we don’t have time), then what does it mean? It may mean that the reason is either more complicated or is not behavior related itself. It may be related to something more meaningful to us, like beliefs or values. And in this case coaching may be your partner, because it allows you to transparently work these layers – behaviors, beliefs, values. And the more coherent we are at higher levels (e.g. at the level of beliefs, values, or even life mission), the greater the chance that we will act coherently at the level of our behavior (**).
⏰ Did I get you interested in the topic? Please let me know, I’ll be happy to answer your questions!
🔥 Or if you are ready please DM me to book a consulting session with me!
Below are the links to the articles that inspired me when writing some paragraphs of this article:
(*)